Use of Language

NO WHITE LINES
DO NOT OVERTAKE UNLESS IT IS SAFE TO DO SO
What are you saying here? that if there are white lines it's OK to overtake when it isn't safe to do so?
Note added Nov 2006: They have started taping or painting over the "UNLESS IT IS SAFE TO DO SO" bit, do you think some one read this?

Heard on the Radio:

Reporter (taking about some knitted objects) ".....it's a sort of turquoisey bluey-green colour" : well it would be wouldn't it!

From QANTAS flight safety announcement:

"...because they affect the navigational equipment, please refrain from using any electronic devices until we are 20 minutes into our flight...." - by which time we will be so hopelessly lost it won't make any difference??

In a library and more scary, from a librarian:

".......and how are you spelling alchemist, which a 'c' or a 'k'?" Good, so a knowledge of English isn't actually needed in that profession then.

Advertising Signs:

Port Geographe sign
The sign says "The South Wests Most Successfull Resort" - unfortunate that they erected the sign in front of a tip.